When you enter a new relationship, everything seems so dreamy and nothing is able to come in the way of this new bond that you have been introduced to. Your partner seems like the perfect being in your eyes and you wouldn’t have it any other way. You are willing to take on board all of the promises you made to each other. Life just couldn’t get better right? But what happens when you finally move in with someone and they are in your face most of the day? You start to pick up pet peeves and small things start to irritate you. Compromise is key they say, have they tried living with someone who doesn’t know where the wash basket is? Then when your other half starts to spend longer hours at work and is not able to give you all the attention like before, so you start to suspect them. He/she must be seeing someone else right? They don’t look at you the same way anymore? Am I seeing things? No, I am always right! Such thoughts start to override your mind. Then you decide to get a third, fourth or fifth person’s advice and especially take on that person’s advice who can never last in a relationship, because they obviously have the best advice to give you. So you start to argue daily with your partner, saying the worst to them that they obviously deserve because they have changed ever since they moved in with you. It’s so much easier to ruin a relationship than it is to make it work. It’s easier to blame the other person and not to look at your own faults. Why take the hard route? If your partner is supposedly breaking the promises that you both kept solemnly to each other, you really need to teach them a lesson.
Top tips on How To Ruin A Happy Relationship
1. Always suspect your partner, they must be hiding something.
2. Never appreciate what your partner does for you.
3. Never ever take time out especially for them, come on you married them that’s a prize in itself!
4. Always make excuses to not to help out around the house. Let your other half do the work, you work hard as it is bringing money on the table. For bonus points leave a mess around the house.
5. When your partner tries to talk to you always tell them they are wrong in assuming things about you and that it’s all in their head.
6. Always look for faults especially. They need to know what they are doing wrong!
7. Always judge them for their decisions, I mean how can they make such silly decisions! And make sure you are quick about it. You don’t want to miss a small point!
8. Overreact when they make a mistake, they really need to learn from their mistake so you have to make them jump.
9. Trust others opinions about your relationship rather than talking to them directly about any issues that you may have.
10. Forget birthdays, anniversaries and important dates. They don’t matter.
11. Never accept your partners family as your own, I mean you have enough drama from your own family why do you need more?
12. Always be rude to them when you wanted their attention and they didn’t give it to you especially when its “Not” their fault.
13. Make sure you complain to them on a daily basis of them being so busy and working hard. Why are they working hard at making a better future, when they should be giving you attention.
14. Always criticise their dreams when they share them with you. The best phrases to use are
“You are so crazy!”
“That won’t ever work!”
“I am not a part of this, your dream you do it!”
“I have a job like normal people and you should focus on that too.”
“Come on be realistic.”
“Stop wasting your time.”
These phrases will do the job!
15. When they are tired, completely ignore them and say how tired you are and deserve a shoulder rub. Never ever do anything to ease their pain.
16. When they are ill, act like nothing has happened. They are a strong soldier get on with it!
17. Ignore all of their messages and phone calls. Work is much more important.
18. Never ever cook for them! They can cook for themselves.
19. Always put them down in front of others especially, others need to know you are the better half.
20. Don’t ever communicate with them on a personal level or a emotional level. Because if you show your emotional side they may take it for granted and use it against you.
21. Never ever accept your faults or say sorry. That will show how weak you are as a person!
22. Never ever compliment them, that will just make them big for their boots! Nope you don’t ever want to make them feel good about themselves!
23. Never take them out and when you do make sure you make a big scene of it to them at how much money you spent on them, they NEED to know.
24. When ever they go shopping and buy something for themselves, make sure you give them a lecture of how much money they have wasted. On the other hand if they buy you something, make sure you don’t appreciate it and tell them how much you deserve it.
25. Never ever organise family time for the kids, let them do it.
I really hope you enjoyed the tips on how to ruin a relationship above, you do these and trust me it will make it easier for you to fall apart from your other half and maybe even stop them loving you!
“Assumptions are the termites of a relationship” – Henry Winkler